Come live in my heart and pay no rent ~手越祐也♥♥♥
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Monday, November 30, 2009
worn out
i'm worn out, physically and emotionally. my eyes are puffy from crying and i've developed a nasty headache too. plus i think my fever came back. my throat hurts and i can't breathe properly bcoz my nose is stuffy. i feel and look utterly ugly. i feel like shit, like i'm in one of the lowest points in my life. you know those times when all your problems came at the same time. maybe coming from jovie's funeral also added to my present mood.
i don't want to think. bcoz when i do i'll just remember how sad i am about the things that happened recently. i don't like to think that we're drifting apart but it seems like we are. i thought i can just take things lightly but at the very beginning i had this gut feeling that this time would come. and i did wish that i was wrong, that was one of the rare times i hated being right. but to my dismay, i was watching her distancing away, bit by bit. she may not have noticed it but i have and every time we talk and i feel she was being pulled into the fandom more, my heart breaks a little. i tried to ignore it whenever i can but there are times when i can't help but get teary-eyed. the thought that we may not be talking to each other in the future scares me so much that i would find myself crying every now and then. i don't blame her. she didn't commit a crime. it's just that she somehow changed before my eyes and it made me feel like i was left alone, until i felt like i was losing her. i was losing a sister, a bestfriend. i'm losing someone i love. i wanna be distracted, that way my mind won't wander off to thoughts of us and where our friendship is heading. it still brings me to tears even after we have talked. it seems like we're just going in circles and not really arriving at any decision, like we're on a standstill, we're stuck. i don't want her to do something she doesn't want bcoz of me. i won't be happy either, knowing that i'm holding her back somehow. i honestly don't know what i want. i don't know what to do. i don't know how to deal with it. i'm in such a loss and most often than not i'd just find myself crying. i just the miss old times. i miss the old her. a lot. but i know we can't always get what we want, so i keep telling myself that's life, i should just accept it. but i'm finding the road to acceptance hard and bumpy. things really are easier said than done.
i keep wondering if i'm the only one stressing over us drifting apart. or maybe she did notice but it wasn't worrying her bcoz she could always find new friends, preferably ones in her new fandom. i'm sure there are plenty out there who aren't half as selfish and childish and emo as me. it'd be a relief, right? she could easily replace or discard me just like with NEWS. that's life, but i can't help being sad nevertheless. if she hates me and doesn't waint to be friends with me anymore, i can't do anything about it. if that happens, what a waste. i've considered her as one of the few people who are really important in my life. why else would i waste my time, thoughts and tears for her. i don't think i have ever cried or been sad over a friend before. this is actually the first time that i have ever been in this kind of situation. my bestfriends here never gave me reason to doubt, to make me feel like i don't matter anymore so maybe i've been pampered in a way. i was the one being checked on when weeks and months would pass and they haven't heard from me. i was the one being asked to come to meetings. i was the one being asked for affection. i know i'm not the best person for a friend. i'm far from perfect. i know i have my shortcomings, lots of them and that i fail as a friend a lot of times but they still love me.i never had to deal with a fallout. it makes me realize now how lucky i am to have my friends, that after all this time they still wanted to be with me despite everything, that no matter what happens i know we'll still be friends.
there was a time when i wasn't as glad as usual to talk to her. i think that was the time when i'm starting to get tired of pretending that everything's okay and i just let myself feel what i want to feel. i think i was half hurt and irritated at first hearing nothing but suju and i thinking to myself that i didn't want to hear any of it. i have also been indifferent in hopes that it would discourage her in spazzing about suju. honestly i don't effin care about them. it's not like i hate suju or anything. i feel like she's betraying me and NEWS in a way everytime and i was being protective of them and being the one hurt for them in return. i didn't want to spazz about NEWS to her bcoz i know she wouldn't have an idea what it was all about, and i'd get disappointed and then i wouldn't feel like talking to her anymore. i didn't wanna read her posts even though i wanted to know how she was doing bcoz i know that it'll be all suju. i'm surprised to find myself being irate and easily upset so it started to scare me. then i was thinking maybe i should stop talking to her for a while. i'm afraid i'd end up being this bitter and hateful person and i don't want to end up like that so i thought it's best if i take a break. but most of all i was sad. talking to her was making me sad more than happy. and that's when i've started wondering about what could happen and when i realized where it might end. it just shocked me. i was going about my everyday my mind kind of floating, wandering, numb. i didn't want the words to sink in bcoz i'm afraid that i'd just break down. i was in denial for months. but everyone has a limit and i'm not the most patient person. i can be mean and evil and bitchy at my worst.
i still don't know what we have accomplished from our talk. i still don't know where we are. i'm sorry for myself and i'm sorry for her that we had to go through this. i know i've hurt her too. how did it come to this? this is torture. i hope this would stop. i wish my tears would stop falling with just the thought of her and everything that we used to be. i'm so tired. i don't want to feel miserable anymore. i don't want to laugh this off. i can't laugh this off. people tell me not to think about it, to smile and cheer up. easier said than done but i'm gonna try. it's not like my problems would be solved even if i cried my eyes out. i just wish i could forget everything for just one day, that way my eyes won't be so puffy and i won't be having splitting headaches. as much as i don't want to, this just really depresses me. i don't really know what to think anymore at this point.
手越祐也の彼女@8:47 PM
Sunday, November 29, 2009
thoughts, reflecting on life's sad times
welcome to the fallout.
it really feels like it. no matter how much i deny it, it feels like we are drifting apart. and as much as i don't want to it really hurts me. we don't see eye to eye anymore. we don't smile for the same person/s anymore. and it feels like i've lost a part of me. i wish i didn't let myself be close to that person if i had known that she would have this effect on me. again i feel like telling myself off for opening myself to someone in the hopes that maybe that someone will not change. but just as the saying goes, change is the only permanent thing in the world. it's out of my hands if her feelings change. as much as i tried to be happy for her, it kills me inside to watch her grow farther and farther away from me. it hurts, i feel like i've been left alone, discarded, disregarded, betrayed. i want to know who should be blamed. is it me for being the way i am? or is it the other person? i don't want to blame myself or anyone else. but gah, this is so...
why are you leaving me? can't you stay? even when you try to be there for me i feel like you're miles away...
welcome to the fallout.
-for a dear friend
手越祐也の彼女@10:05 PM
i'm still up so late that i haven't noticed it's time for the master showman. i wasn't planning to watch it today bcoz i had to be early later. we'll be meeting up at 8am to go to dumanhug where jovie will be laid to rest. plus i was more than good having watched supernatural and csi earlier.
the opening number with hideaki and jake dancing. hideaki can dance!!! he's really good!!! and i finally knew his full name, hideyaki torio. i still prefer hideaki over hideyaki though.
last night's episode of csi: this prostitute is pretty. and she's got a southern accent.
手越祐也の彼女@1:42 AM
Saturday, November 28, 2009
i love rpg!
talked to miru on ym again. she's my twinnie in the newsph forum. we also consider shige as our twin, so technically we're triplets but we like calling each other twinnie more :P massu and i are bestfriends. KiTa is miru and massu's son. it may be weird for some people to talk about entertainers like they're just your nextdoor neighbors but when you're in the fandom (esp asian pop) it's perfectly normal XD
so currently the situation between miru and massu are messed up since miru finally told massu about what happened to her and shige when they got drunk one night and that she had shige's baby. she told me that on our last conversation and i scolded her saying that she knew better, shige and her we're twins for pete's sake! and i'm still mad at tegoshi due to the blondie rumors and i was staying at massu's.
this is a part of our conversation:
miru.milklover: *gives you nobuino* cuddle up to the guy oki? :3 he'll take care of you~ nadz: who's nobuino? miru.milklover: my stat pic. XD miru.milklover: yung doll na binigay skn ni massu dti. c: nadz: pwede c ruka na lang? pakagat ako sa kanya wahahaaaaa miru.milklover: chotto who's ruka again? nadz: my stat pic, c nakayama yuma miru.milklover: omg c yuma yan!? miru.milklover: why doesnt he look like himself. nadz: yup, he looks effin hot tlga in koishite akuma miru.milklover: ibang iba O: nadz: kung ganyan itsura ni edward matagal na akong nagpabiktima hahaha nadz: he looks mature na noh? tama ang paglaki nya di tulad ng ibang taga JE LOL miru.milklover: *nods* nadz: kmusta na kayo ni massu? nasabi mo na ba sa kanya ang tungkol sa inyo ni shige? miru.milklover: *sigh* miru.milklover: he's not talking to me miru.milklover: i did. i did tell him. nadz: how long has it been? miru.milklover: 2 weeks. miru.milklover: well honestly miru.milklover: 1st week he was still minding me. pero nung 2nd week.. it's like i nadz: di naman kayo nag away? nadz: how did he take it when you told him? miru.milklover: no shouts. miru.milklover: he... he stormed out. nadz: at least he's not one of those guys na dv dba? miru.milklover: no... *sigh* miru.milklover: im just scared miru.milklover: he's always wearing long sleeves nowadays miru.milklover: is he there? nadz: well, i'm back at my own house now. haven't talked to massu for a while na rin... miru.milklover: *sigh*.... im scared. i cut all connections with shige. moved out of the share house me, shige,rui and keii lived in. miru.milklover: kamusta na kau ni tegonyan? nadz: tama na you moved out of the house. bakit di na lang kayo dun tumira ni KiTa kina massu? miru.milklover: kasi he's been ignoring me >.< miru.milklover: i visited his house 2 days ago nadz: ewan, di ko pa rin xa mapatawad but i can't stay away forever. may karapatan din naman ako sa bahay namin... nadz: i mean even before that incident. you could've stayed at massu's when you had KiTa nadz: kaya nga nagbakasyon muna ako miru.milklover: mmm. why not you and tego have a date tonight? miru.milklover: ah before? shige called me to help him out. kasi rui and keii are too high on their libido's they need baby sitters *lol* miru.milklover: apparently, something else happened *sighed* nadz: for what? nakakainis kc he's not even making the effort to make up with me or even ask what the problem is miru.milklover: how long have u not talked to each other? nadz: i don't know, almost a month i think miru.milklover: omg. miru.milklover: wait miru.milklover: didnt u move out? miru.milklover: coz of the blondie thing? nadz: i didn't. i stayed at massu's for a while lang bcoz i was so depressed and i needed someone to cheer me up and keep my mind away from my problems miru.milklover: i see... he didnt come to visit? nadz: nope. it makes me wonder if i should stay in the relationship... miru.milklover: O_____O nadz: parang ako lang ang namomroblema palagi... miru.milklover: you should! miru.milklover: problems happen twinnie! >.< nadz: para kcing ako lang ang nag eeffort... miru.milklover: ah when i called tego he was asking where you were. ghad i forgot to tell u that. @_@; miru.milklover: twinnie. miru.milklover: u know ur man's ego. nadz: bakit di na lang nya ako tinawagan? nadz: *SIGH* miru.milklover: EGO miru.milklover: he knew massu was at home nadz: sarap nyang batukan minsan miru.milklover: kasi he just visted massu's house miru.milklover: he was looking for you there. nadz: massu didn't say anything to me... nadz: now tell me how am i supposed to feel? miru.milklover: nostalgic. miru.milklover: like the rest of us. nadz: mas ok pa noon nung friends pa lang tayo lahat, walang drama... miru.milklover: T_T miru.milklover: but i know one thing miru.milklover: im not giving up on massu. miru.milklover: you shouldn't either nadz: i don't wanna give up either but it's so hard sometimes nadz: lalo na when i feel like he doesn't care T_T miru.milklover: then we wont miru.milklover: trust me twinnie miru.milklover: i know he cares. miru.milklover: i can check is condo out right now miru.milklover: and see if he's still in the right state. miru.milklover: diba tego's a dirty person? nadz: ewan ko na lang talaga. i never cried this much over a guy before... nadz: dirty person?! miru.milklover: DIRTY in a way miru.milklover: makalat miru.milklover: not green girty. nadz: ah. nagreact tlga, haha miru.milklover: anyway miru.milklover: db he's not that neat? miru.milklover: makalat xa right? nadz: oo nga makalat yun, feeling ko nga minsan maid nya lang ako >_> miru.milklover: ayt. miru.milklover: you haven't seen each other for a month? miru.milklover: ill head to his apartment now. nadz: so? nadz: for what? miru.milklover: i'll find out if he's crazy over worrying miru.milklover: or indifferent to your whole situation. miru.milklover: give me 20 mins. nadz: ok... miru.milklover: BACK. miru.milklover: anyway miru.milklover: status report: his house is SHINY-- it was scary miru.milklover: no i mean its CLEANER than Massu's. miru.milklover: everything's so shiny-- it's crazy. miru.milklover: he's going crazy. nadz: anong pumasok sa ulo nya? miru.milklover: you. miru.milklover: and your whereabouts? miru.milklover: i dunno kasi he's cleaning when I came there miru.milklover: his eyes were dark. miru.milklover: he doesnt look like he was eating well. nadz: mabuti nga yun he can't expect me to clean his mess, esp if we break up... miru.milklover: his voice was hoarse.. nadz: nagkasakit pa ako dahil sa kanya miru.milklover: sb nea " Is Nadz doing well?" miru.milklover: oo ako. nadz: i bet he doesn't even know i'm sick miru.milklover: "tell her I miss her." miru.milklover: he looks really sickly. miru.milklover: yeah i dont think he knows. nadz: pareho pa kaming may sakit nagyon... miru.milklover: love sick? miru.milklover: yeez. nadz: why don't he call his blondie to take care of him? miru.milklover: coz he doesnt have a blondie lover. miru.milklover: cousin's friend. nadz: oh really. ang close naman nila ng friend ng cousin nya. nadz: everytime na maalala ko yung articles abwt them naiiyak ako... miru.milklover: well miru.milklover: you know him. he gets sweet pag dating sa opposite sex. nadz: ni hindi man lang nya ako kinausap para mag explain, hinayaan nya lang akong isipin na ganun nga... nadz: alam naman nyang selosa ako... miru.milklover: did you show him na nagseselos ka? nadz: you know me pag nagtatampo tahimik lang miru.milklover: un nga eh miru.milklover: thing is why didnt he notice it? miru.milklover: *sigh* nadz: insensitive cya miru.milklover: he'll talk to you soon. miru.milklover: but im sure miru.milklover: he really really misses u miru.milklover: no joke. nadz: eh bakit wala cyang ginagawa?? T_T miru.milklover: EGO. miru.milklover: but his ego miru.milklover: will soon break nadz: he should make the first move miru.milklover: 1 month without you miru.milklover: i know he can't take it. nadz: damn his ego miru.milklover: yiiz. miru.milklover: so dont worry twinnie miru.milklover: it will work out for the both of you miru.milklover: im very sure nadz: i'm not sure if i should tell you this... miru.milklover: what?? nadz: wag kang magalit twinnie ha... miru.milklover: ??? nadz: bsta promise me wag kang magagalit... miru.milklover: i cant promise anything miru.milklover: kasi i cant control my emotions properly.. miru.milklover: but go nadz: o cge di ko na lang sasabihin... miru.milklover: nooo miru.milklover: tell me T__T miru.milklover: hindi ako magagalit SAyo nadz: but do you have a kutob what i'm gonna tell you abwt? miru.milklover: yes. nadz: sure ka na di ka magagalit sa akin? promise tlga? miru.milklover: yes. miru.milklover: kasi sa naiisip ko miru.milklover: ngaun miru.milklover: i think magagalit ako sa lalaki. nadz: uwaaaa~ i think correct yung kutob mo nadz: di ko yata kayang sabihin... miru.milklover: there's a reason why we're twins. miru.milklover: i dont think magagalit rin ako sa guy... miru.milklover: tho.. miru.milklover: kung tama. miru.milklover: kasi i love him. miru.milklover: just tell me nadz: OMG. you know? O.O miru.milklover: i dont. miru.milklover: these are all my kutobs. nadz: ok, but it's not as bad as you think... miru.milklover: i hope not. nadz: teka tell me muna kung ano sa tingin mo yung sasabihin ko sayo? miru.milklover: its either: miru.milklover: a.) you and massu did something together that couple should do. miru.milklover: b.) he told you he loves you. miru.milklover: c.) you told massu you love him miru.milklover: d.) all. nadz: what would you prefer if you had to choose? miru.milklover: e.) you love tegoshi and massu forgave miru. you went back to live with tegonyan and you guys had a baby. miru.milklover: ..... miru.milklover: e nadz: hindi, seryoso, if you really had to choose from a b c d? miru.milklover: c. nadz: talagang inignore ko ang e, haha miru.milklover: kasi massu could reject you... if he really does love me... nadz: twinnie naman, ako pa ang gagawa nun? *hurt* miru.milklover: *sigh* miru.milklover: eh under the situation now miru.milklover: anything can happen eh miru.milklover: ok so i have this feeling miru.milklover: its B. nadz: you know i'm madly crazy inlove with tego T_T nadz: actually it's.... miru.milklover: i see... miru.milklover: A... nadz: yeah... nadz: BUT! miru.milklover: .... miru.milklover: oh. nadz: let me finish first nadz: i think that was the first week after you told him abwt you and shige, i'm just assuming since massu didnt tell me anything nadz: but napansin ko na he's not himself na miru.milklover: so its all my fault. miru.milklover: why did i grow up an idiot miru.milklover: with no self control? T_T miru.milklover: i lost my lover.. miru.milklover: incest n nga ako.. miru.milklover: T_T nadz: he tried to, you know, make advances but i think naman he was under the influence of alcohol that time so he's not entirely himself nadz: and i didn't let anything happen twinnie, in the end we talked over coffee nadz: kc nga i love him as a friend and only as a friend miru.milklover: thats still miru.milklover: my fault miru.milklover: he doesnt drink nadz: and i know he loves you and i love tegoshi miru.milklover: enough to get drunk so much. nadz: that's why i moved out on the second week kaya i haven't heard anything from him miru.milklover: his depression nadz: i think naiilang kc c massu sa akin ngayon pero i understand him, our situations are sad miru.milklover: could mean miru.milklover: a.) my confession miru.milklover: b.) you moving out miru.milklover: c.) him trying to sleep with you miru.milklover: d.) he's blaming himself why i got pregnant with another man. miru.milklover: e.) all. nadz: i couldn't stay at his place after what almost happened, and i'm not denying na muntik na akong pumatol sa kanya but it's wrong, kaya miru.milklover: thanks twinnie. miru.milklover: buti kpa. miru.milklover: may self control.. nadz: i mean he's handsome, he's hot, he's mabait, but he's just a friend to me, nothing more. and i think ganun din ang tingin nya sa akin it's just that when you're drunk nawawalan ka ng self-control miru.milklover: .. or your real emotions come out. miru.milklover: like shige. nadz: cguro massu and i could've been lovers before but it's impossible na ngayon dba miru.milklover: i cant say yes miru.milklover: i cant say no either.. nadz: iba na yung level of love we feel for each other. we've been friends for years after all miru.milklover: you guys are closer than we are after all. nadz: but he's not inlove with me and i'm not inlove with him... nadz: maybe the attraction is still there but yun lang yun... nadz: o cge, i'll tell you na i used to have a crush on him before we became friends... miru.milklover: i know that naman twinnie miru.milklover: oh well... nadz: but baka friend lang talaga tingin ni massu sa akin noon, dba. after all these years if he liked me he could've done something dba? nadz: but he didn't. he liked you. nadz: i think i need time away from him kc naiilang pa ako. i know he is too... nadz: but we're gonna be ok. para saan pa na magkaibigan kmi all these years miru.milklover: i know magbabati kau miru.milklover: no one can resist you twinnie nadz: haha, eh bakit c tegoshi -_- miru.milklover: he cant nga. XD miru.milklover: he just has big ego nadz: i hope you're not mad at massu for making a move on me... miru.milklover: im not miru.milklover: i know its all my fault nadz: good miru.milklover: why else would he drink? miru.milklover: why else would he look for the company of other women? nadz: but what would you have done kung may nangyari nga sa amin? nadz: and say, i got pregnant. parang kayo ni shige miru.milklover: yes. miru.milklover: i would have miru.milklover: i would have most probably tried to commit suicide miru.milklover: tried nadz: wag, i'd be guilty for the rest of my life miru.milklover: oooooooooooooor miru.milklover: i'll try to get amnesia nadz: kawawa naman c KiTa miru.milklover: he has his dad miru.milklover: im pretty sure miru.milklover: massu will just one day miru.milklover: get KiTa away from me... miru.milklover: one of these days.. nadz: wait, i feel nauseous >.< miru.milklover: O.o miru.milklover: O.O nadz: massu wouldn't do that nadz: what? miru.milklover: well miru.milklover: i never thought massu would try to find comfort from another woman miru.milklover: so i dunno what to expect any more. nadz: baka tingin nya sa akin ikaw, haha miru.milklover: haha sana. nadz: when he was drunk, he was saying stuff, ewan if i should believe it... miru.milklover: what was he saying? nadz: baka dala lang tlaga ng kalasingan... miru.milklover: just tell me everything nadz: like matagal na daw cyang may gusto sa akin...stuff like that nadz: pero di nga ako naniniwala miru.milklover: ...oh.. miru.milklover: you should believe. nadz: kc dba he could've told me that when we were in high school miru.milklover: you of all people should know that he wouldnt say things like that miru.milklover: not even under the influnce of that damn drink. nadz: and then sinabi mo pa na type nya mga katulad ko, so i don't know na miru.milklover: oh... miru.milklover: so.. miru.milklover: so.. parang panakip butas lang ako sa kanya.. nadz: i dunno, pero natakot ako kay massu when he was flirting with me miru.milklover: ok im broken. miru.milklover: both massu's in my life... miru.milklover: waaa T-T nadz: kc if he really wanted to do something wala akong kalaban-laban sa kanya, he's strong dba? miru.milklover: yeah nadz: pag nagkataon i would've cried the whole night, and i nadz: i wouldn't be sure if mahaharap ko pa cya... miru.milklover: wow miru.milklover: ... nadz: i'm glad nga na he didn't go through with it. dahil na rin cguro may konting takot kaya i moved out of his house the next day... nadz: and believe me, he said sorry so many times nadz: sabi ko naman it's ok, kalimutan na lang namin. pero naiilang pa ako sa kanya, i need time before i can face him again. ganun din cguro cya sa akin. i'm sure we'll miss each other, magbestfriends kaya kami miru.milklover: he may be sorry for what he has done miru.milklover: but for what he has said.. i wonder if he said sorry for that too.. nadz: but i know that he loves you. miru.milklover: maybe he does miru.milklover: pero not as much as you. miru.milklover: wow. hindi ko kaya magalit sainyu ha. miru.milklover: i guess i love you guys so much thats why... nadz: it's all in the past naman dba, whatever feelings he might have had for me... miru.milklover: could have gotten stronger, nadz: i think we're better off as friends lang talaga miru.milklover: and since i wasnt there most of the time, tas you were always there for him... nadz: no twinnie, we won't let that happen. you love massu, i love tegoshi, yun dapat miru.milklover: dapat. miru.milklover: but ... anything can happen. nadz: baka he wanted to get back at you and shige but kawawa naman ako nun, parang ginamit nya ako or maybe he didn't do it to get revenge. i dunno basta it wasn't right miru.milklover: di ko na alam kung paanu ko tatapatin c massu.. miru.milklover: i was planning to go to his house tonight pa naman to get him to talk to me... miru.milklover: so massu's the wrathful kind pala? nadz: so talk to him nadz: wag mong hayaan na mauwi sa wala yung pinagsamahan nyo nadz: well i dunno. i haven't seen him really angry at someone in the many years we've been friends eh miru.milklover: i should talk to him miru.milklover: i dont care miru.milklover: if he throws a vase at me miru.milklover: if he hits me miru.milklover: if he punches me miru.milklover: gives my cuts nadz: i don't think he's like that even if he gets mad miru.milklover: if he stabs me with a knife miru.milklover: we dunno anything at this point eh miru.milklover: i just want him miru.milklover: to pour out his emotions.. ALL. nadz: *sigh* i wish i could help you, but i can't even fix my own problems... miru.milklover: its ok twinnie. nadz: i just wanted to be honest with you kc nga we're twins. you might not know everything but i know may gut feelings ka rin miru.milklover: now miru.milklover: kaya we're twins eh miru.milklover: u know tho.. miru.milklover: i dunno why he's avoiding me miru.milklover: if its because guilty b xa sa ginawa nea sau.. miru.milklover: or guilty xa dahil he has me... miru.milklover: or because he doesnt love me anymore, and he wants you. miru.milklover: my kutob is the 3rd one tho. nadz: i hope it's the first one miru.milklover: its really really strong. nadz: i don't want naman the 2nd and 3rd ones to happen noh, madadagdagan pa problems ko miru.milklover: im confused. miru.milklover: i dunno if i should still try to keep up the relationship.. nadz: i don't wanna think na he's confused with his feelings right now -_- miru.milklover: knowing that massu has feelings for another miru.milklover: i think he is tho. miru.milklover: ill let you know. miru.milklover: ill head to his house miru.milklover: right now. nadz: twinnie! those feelings were in the past na. it just so happened na he was drunk kaya nya nasabi sa akin yun nadz: but i'm sure he doesn't feel that way for me anymore miru.milklover: we'll never know darling. miru.milklover: my senses say otherwise. nadz: cge you two should really talk nadz: wag mong hayaan na magkalabuan kayo miru.milklover: when he says he doesnt want me anymore. nadz: i don't want massu falling for me T_T nadz: naiiyak ako, i don't want you and massu to break up nadz: sana pla di ko na lang sinabi sayo -_- miru.milklover: its better miru.milklover: naman miru.milklover: diba nadz: pinalala ko pa yata ang sitwasyon miru.milklover: i dunno what your confession has done miru.milklover: pinalala ba o pinaganda miru.milklover: pero... miru.milklover: ill talk to him miru.milklover: now. nadz: i hope maayos nyo. sayang naman ilang years na kayong magkasama and you have a child! miru.milklover: yeah... miru.milklover: poor KiTa... miru.milklover: bobo ko tlga miru.milklover: kasalanan ko toh lahat eh >_< nadz: kaya nga, ayusin nyo na lang nadz: for KiTa nadz: for your love for each other nadz: you really don't know what you've got till it's gone. totoo pla tlga nadz: i'm not saying massu's gone, but you know what i mean... miru.milklover: yeah.. ok ill head to his house now. miru.milklover: Miru just left miru.milklover: you are talking to her alter person, chesca. miru.milklover: same person different lives. miru.milklover: confusing? yes. nadz: cge. update me na lang kung ano ang nangyari. nadz: i think i need to go to the doctor tomorrow. dumadalas na akong feeling nauseous... miru.milklover: aah? bkt gnun? nadz: i dunno... miru.milklover: have u been eating well? nadz: i don't wanna think it's bcoz i'm... >.< nadz: i don't think i'm ready right now... miru.milklover: buti nalang wala c MIru yo. >.< nadz: matatagalan pa cguro yun nadz: kawawa naman if i got a baby tapos nagkakalabuan kami ng daddy nya miru.milklover: dapat mag bati n kayo ni yuuya eh miru.milklover: -_- miru.milklover: tingnan mo your pregnant ata tas di keo bati miru.milklover: bad effects sa baby kahit na nanjan pa xa sa tum tum mo nadz: eh di pa naman ako sure. baka naman i'm sick lang bcoz i'm depressed. lalo akong nadepress after what happened to massu and me...kaya wala akong gana kumain lately miru.milklover: i see. nadz: tapos minsan lang tayo nagkakausap, i miss you and shige --- nadz: i used to want to have a baby but with the situation right now, kawawa if i get pregnant this time miru.milklover: yeah (we) I miss you too miru.milklover: oonga miru.milklover: wag now nadz: buti pa when we were kids, wala tayong pinoproblema. we were happy... miru.milklover: everything normal miru.milklover: ai miru.milklover: ang galing galing ng miru.milklover: itunes ko. miru.milklover: broken-hearted girl - beyonce miru.milklover: *kicks itunes* nadz: haha, ayaw mo nun, nakikibagay sa mood mo? LOL miru.milklover: oh oh my alter person is back. nadz: ang bilis ah miru.milklover: I HAD TO USE YOUR VOICE SO THAT HE'D OPEN UP THE DOOR. miru.milklover: when he did.. miru.milklover: he.. let me in. miru.milklover: we were just sitting there miru.milklover: face to face nadz: eh? you know how to sound like me?? miru.milklover: not saying a word. miru.milklover: Yes i do. i play pranks on tego before >.< nadz: why did you have to do that naman? nadz: i'm sure massu would open the door just the same miru.milklover: anyway >.< nadz: cge continue nadz: wow, pwede na tayong gumawa ng fic nito, haha nadz: why did you have to do that naman? miru.milklover: Kasi! miru.milklover: i was knocking miru.milklover: abusing his doorbell miru.milklover: shouting na miru.milklover: but he didnt open up. miru.milklover: i waited 10 mins miru.milklover: bumalik ako nagdoorbell ako then I used your voice. miru.milklover: he immediately opened up. miru.milklover: aun miru.milklover: so i wanted to ask him "Tell me everything you feel right now." miru.milklover: pero nung magsasalita ako ang sinabi nea agad "Why are you here." a statement, not a question. miru.milklover: masakit sa puso un ah kumirot puso ko.. nadz: omg. i'm so sad reading that. bakit ganun c massu? nadz: bakit ganun?? -_- miru.milklover: i dont know miru.milklover: but i told you miru.milklover: my kutob was strong miru.milklover: i couldnt take it nadz: naiiyak ako miru.milklover: after he said why are you here miru.milklover: i just said "I love you." then left him. nadz: bakit ka umalis agad? miru.milklover: i couldnt take it miru.milklover: his glare was intense.. miru.milklover: scary.. miru.milklover: have u seen it? miru.milklover: the intense glare? nadz: well, he was staring at me after we had the talk after the incident. kaya nga i decided it's best if i moved out. he was scaring me. nadz: but he wasn't glaring at me naman miru.milklover: this was a glare. nadz: i don't know what to say... miru.milklover: miru.milklover: it was LIKE THAT. miru.milklover: it was anger... miru.milklover: pero parang... he was sad more than angry. miru.milklover: ang sakit. nadz: i think he just wanted to say sorry to me again kaya he opened the door when he thought it was me who was knocking... miru.milklover: so means miru.milklover: he wants to see you more than he sees me. miru.milklover: heh. i understand.. miru.milklover: i guess. nadz: only bcoz he feels guilty miru.milklover: anyway.. i wont force massu if he doesnt want to see me. miru.milklover: well actually i dont. miru.milklover: ill pretend to understand nadz: waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah nadz: i don't like what's happening -_- miru.milklover: tomorrow... ill talk to him n tlga. miru.milklover: i will miru.milklover: aausin ko toh nadz: he's been sending me messages everyday saying sorry. i keep telling me he doesn't have to say it again and again. but when it continued i decided to just ignore them...i guess he really is guilty and sorry abwt what happened... nadz: i understand naman, hinahayaan ko na lang cya nadz: omg, he looks scary and funny in the pic, haha nadz: yeah, don't give up twinnie miru.milklover: naiinggit ako sau twin miru.milklover: at least he texts u miru.milklover: he doesnt reply to my calls miru.milklover: to my messages nadz: eh kc nga he did something inappropriate to me miru.milklover: he could at least mind me miru.milklover: db miru.milklover: reply miru.milklover: once in awhile. miru.milklover: im starting to think im not important to him. miru.milklover: he wants you to reply to his messages nadz: nuuuuuuu miru.milklover: pero pag ako ok lang maignore? nadz: i'll talk to him for you nadz: i think we need to talk again, before things get worse... nadz: i can't just ignore him din naman dba miru.milklover: yeah miru.milklover: u should miru.milklover: he wants to talk to you and clear it up with you more than he wants to clear it up with me.. nadz: don't say that. nadz: but i think i really have to face massu again... nadz: i want things between us to go back to the way they used to be...
that was the end. i think she got dc. and then i got dc. rpg is fun! XD with vie it's like ryo-her, tegoshi-me, ryo-tegoshi. with irene it's ryotego rpg all the way, sometimes irene-pi :P
--edit--
miru.milklover: twinnie miru.milklover: *gives letter* bigay ni tegonyan miru.milklover: pnapabigay nea. nadz: ehhhh? nagkita kayo? nadz: alam mo ginawan ko pa ng post sa blog yung chat natin kanina, haha miru.milklover: really?? cool i wanna see~! miru.milklover: well yes miru.milklover: i was headed to massu's house, tinawagan nea ko miru.milklover: emergency daw -_-; nadz: ano naman pumasok sa ulo nya at naisipan nyang magsulat ng letter >_> miru.milklover: read it miru.milklover: its kinda sorta long miru.milklover: *4 pages* nadz: http://mychocolateobssession.blogspot.com/2009/11/i-love-rpg.html miru.milklover: i havent blogged in awhile o.o miru.milklover: i should blog. miru.milklover: ill follow u twinnie~ nadz: hmm, can you just read it for me? i'm kinda still mad at him nadz: i love blogging. dun ko lang talaga nasasabi lahat ng gusto ko miru.milklover: i already read it miru.milklover: touching. nadz: ang bilis ah! haha miru.milklover: yes thats true miru.milklover: nabubuhos ko lahat lahat dun. nadz: pinost ko pa nga yung glaring pic ni massu kanina, haha nadz: ang adik ko tlga magblog XD nadz: well, did he say that he' nadz: he's breaking up with me na? miru.milklover: no. miru.milklover: TOUCHING NGA EH miru.milklover: ANUNG TOUCHING SA BREAK UP nadz: malay ko dinaan pa nya sa drama makikipagbreak na nga lang sa akin -_- nadz: at ano yung emergency na sinasabi nya?? miru.milklover: the letter. miru.milklover: -_-; miru.milklover: he looked fresh and happy when he gave it to me tho. miru.milklover: Ahaha nakakaaliw naman yung rpg natin twin~! XD nadz: masaya naman pala xa eh, baka mas masaya xa pag wala na kami T_T nadz: kaya nga pinost ko eh, haha nadz: ano ba tlga sinabi nya sa sulat? miru.milklover: his explanations miru.milklover: his sorry's miru.milklover: his love for you miru.milklover: its so sweet. miru.milklover: READ IT NAO. nadz: ha! ano naman ang explanations nya aber? nadz: why is it so hard for me to believe him na? miru.milklover: oh his explanation? miru.milklover: anyway miru.milklover: his explanation was miru.milklover: it was a whole misunderstanding miru.milklover: and that he didnt know how to approach you miru.milklover: he didnt know if you wanted to talk miru.milklover: or if a hug would solve everything. miru.milklover: he didnt mean to flirt; he just misses u daw. miru.milklover: he wants u to know miru.milklover: that his heart belongs to you miru.milklover: and that if u let it go miru.milklover: he goes away with it (he'll die) miru.milklover: basta ang cheesy nea! >.< nadz: ewwwwwwwww ang corny nya nadz: but kinilig ako na naiiyak at the same time miru.milklover: eh miru.milklover: u like that corny man naman nadz: oo nga, haha nadz: i dunno if that letter's enough to fix everything miru.milklover: it wont fix everything miru.milklover: YES THATS WRITTEN IN THE LETTER miru.milklover: he hopes that it would clear up some things. miru.milklover: he turned off his phone miru.milklover: kasi he was afraid if u call he wont seem manly enough when he talks to you.. miru.milklover: that he'll seddenly burst into tears miru.milklover: you wont love him na daw miru.milklover: *KERENGKENG MO TEGO* miru.milklover: he just wishes itll fix at least 1/4 of the problem miru.milklover: followed u na~ nadz: puahahaaaaaaaaaa ur so girly talaga tego XDD miru.milklover: ikr miru.milklover: XD nadz: hmm, i have to think about what i should do about us. tumagal pa kc eh at lumaki. dapat di na tumagal. miru.milklover: iexactly nadz: where is he now? not that i'll go to him, hmpf~ miru.milklover: at home nadz: just wondering kc sabi mo kanina he looks so fresh ba yun? nadz: well, magkikita at magkikita tlga kami kc nga i went back home na rin from massu's dba miru.milklover: yes miru.milklover: good luck twinnie~! nadz: but i'm staying in the attic miru.milklover: i know you guys will be good miru.milklover: WAG NA. miru.milklover: he wont allow u miru.milklover: im sure. nadz: ah talaga, anong gagawin nya he will barricade the door to the attic? miru.milklover: he'll drag you to the room and make sure you stay there. nadz: try nya lang, dadanak ang dugo nadz: LOL miru.milklover: he'll do it miru.milklover: in another way nadz: pag ayoko, ayoko tlga miru.milklover: sure kang ayaw mo? miru.milklover: mageefort n nga xa eh miru.milklover: ikaw pa tong umaayaw *tsk* nadz: magdusa xa, dapat sa kanya pinapahirapan muna nadz: OMG naging S na ako! haha miru.milklover: oooo miru.milklover: S twinnie miru.milklover: XD nadz: pano nangyari yun eh M ako, kaya nga ako natawag na martyr miru.milklover: times changed nadz: malaki ang kasalanan nya kaya dapat paghirapan nya yung forgiveness ko miru.milklover: i understand u miru.milklover: *sigh* I see what im going to go through >.<
ang adik namin, noh? XDD
手越祐也の彼女@9:01 PM
got back from dumaguete with colds T_T
nov 24 - it's grizzel and grace's birthdays. charo, palmer and i planned to leave for dumaguete early in the morning but there was a typhoon that day and bus and boat trips were canceled. but palmer and i really wanted to go on that day so we decided to try our luck. when we reached the bato port we only had to wait an hour until boat trips have resumed. i was feeling slightly dizzy bcoz i watched a movie ('good luck chuck' with jessica alba, the guy is a dentist here) in palmer's phone while we were on the bus. when we reached the tampi port grizzel was there waiting with her father. the food is yummy! palmer and i are both a bit shy in socializing with grizzel's friends and retreated to the room we were to sleep in. but they invited us to go out for a while and it would be bad to refuse the birthday girls. there was the twins, me and palmer, and 4 of their guy friends. and i was never good with strangers, esp with boys but i thought i should relax once in a while and put my guard down. but i also wasn't used to going out late at night so i was feeling a little sleepy while the others listened to the music, talked and drinked away. good thing another friend of theirs, who's gay, came. it livened things up. we went back to the house and they talked more. palmer and i had coffee, lukewarm for me unfortunately LOL. finally i was too sleepy so i decided to call it a night.
^palmer and me on the bus to bato
^we finally arrived in dumaguete, haggard faces (maybe just me) :P
nov 25 - gayle arrived from manila. we drove around silliman. we went to church to light candles and pray, then had coffee at a cozy cafe. then we went to eat dinner at riza's house which was so beautiful and her family was so accomodating and humble hosts. then night out again. but the gimik places were full because of the fiseta. we tried at el camino's but we got tired of waiting for the band to start so we got out and decided to come back later. we ended up in hayahay again where the boys are and had a drink (shirley temple for charo and me). that was the time i started feeling not so good, and my sneezing spells started.
^having breakfast
^we were sitting at the back of the pick-up
^i like this pic i took, windswept hair~
^silliman university library
^emo? (i look grumpy when i'm not smiling) -_-
^the feast of st. catherine, pretty balloons
^the girls me, grizzel, charo, ciara, grace
^palmer, grizzel, ciara, me, grace
^palmer and me looking at the desserts
^charo's hot choco
^palmer's frozen java
^my dessert
^twin sisters grace and grizzel with their older sister gayle in between
^single ladies except one
^at riza's
^caught yawning XD
^the little star lanterns in the trees along the boulevard look so beautiful at night
^dancing at el camino's
^charo and i had shirley temple, a non-alcoholic drink
^bored face
^bored face
nov 26 - i feel like shit when i woke up. my nose was starting to act. we decided to go to forest camp. i took some nasathera but it didn't do much to ease the itchy and stuffed feeling in my nose. we arrived at around lunchtime at the forest camp. i was forced to wear shorts in public *dies* after we've had enough of splashing in the water we headed home to bathe in the bathroom and get ready for dinner. we went to golden royal spa to have body massages. after that we had dinner at gabby's bistro at florentina homes which was a very beautiful place. the restaurant's interior was artsy and impressive. the food is delicious and cheap! i feel like trying all the restaurants there.
^welcome to the forest camp
^a map of all the natural resorts in dumaguete
^cottage
^palmer told me and charo to look up at the trees LOL
^hanging bridge
^i love this pic, charo looks so pretty~
^there were two dalmatians in the area, a male and a female
^boldstar! haha
"take nothing but pictures, leave nothing but footprints, kill nothing but time"
^bamboo models? XD
*weeeeeeeeee* ^i look scary XDD
^charo looks like a monkey LOL
^we were having fun even though the water was as cold as ice. i also almost lost my slipper bcoz of the strong current but grace saved it! or else i would've gone home with only one slipper XD
^palmer and i went swimming again. me in shorts *acck*
candid shot
florentina homes and gabby's bistro on the first floor
gabby's bistro, owned by gabby who is 2 years younger than me!!! sugoi~
^cow napkin holder
^charo and the red airplane
rana verde (the very cute and cozy little coffee shop across gabby's bistro owned by the same person)
^charo and the huge ice cream
^charo the frog LOL
and i'm absent in work today bcoz i'm still not feeling well, plus i woke up late and didn't want to hurry up, get bathed and changed and chose to be absent instead :P and i sound like pi again, plus my throat is hoarse. gah.
tomorrow everyone at citydent will go to jovie's funeral.
手越祐也の彼女@7:14 PM
Welcome
you have stumbled upon my blog~ the chocoholic's refuge
feel free to wander around...
shout-outs are much appreciated :)
and one more thing,
this is my blog
if you don't like what you see
then GET LOST!
why are you here anyways?
>NewS 大好き!!!
>johnny depp
>tegoshi yuya ♥♥♥♥♥
>テゴマス最高!!!
>purple and green
>chocolates, coffee, cheese
>kpop, jpop, cpop, opm classics, oldies
>dramas/series
>horror flicks
>great danes, rottweilers, yorkies, dachshunds, schnauzers
>halloween & christmas
>eeyore & doraemon
>noona songs
>potatoes & buttered toast
>miniatures
>paper & pens
>susan baker tea
>my lola's leche flan
>sleep overs
>ice cream sandwiches
>tumblers & coasters
>pistachios
>purin
>okonomiyaki
>road trips
>picture books
>paisley & velvet
>candied fruits
>old wives' tales
>mang ambo by larry alcala
>pugad baboy by pmjr
>te-no-ma-shi
>jwebs
>RyoTego
>NewS' Never Ending Wonderful Story dvd
>G3-my partners in crime!
Hates
>worms, maggots, caterpillars, etc.
>rainy days and mondays
>math
>cigarette smoke
>fishbones
>frying fish
>household chores
>my sensitive nose -_-
>waiting
>traffic
>two-faced ppl
>spicy food
>clutter
>being pressured
>crappy service
>shopping
>crowded places
>directions
>too much drama
>sad endings
>monthly periods
>backlogging
>chain letters
>exclusivity and all that shit
>backbiters and rumor-mongers
>being binbou -_-
>my full name
>multi-tasking
>arguments
>my brother XP
>delusional fangirls
>unwanted admirers/suitors/textmates (GRRRR!)
>Tegoshi and RyoTego haters
>blondes
>rumors/tabloids
Wishlist
>'MEMOIRS' philippine release
>TegoMass concert dvd
>a Coraline doll
>harry potter and the deathly hallows
>a series of unfortunate events (complete)
>more neil gaiman books
>the adventures of tin-tin
>my own dika
>new celphone
>jenga and twister games
>revel bars!!! *drools*
>body shop's olive oil
>maltese or yorkie
>electronic dictionary
>the nightmare before christmas merchandise
>JE merchandise
>okaneeeeee~
>lose weight overnight
>mole under left eye
>learn how to play violin/cello
>learn how to bake
>bungee jump
>vacation to japan, thailand, korea
>go to a NewS concert
>my own tegoshi yuya XD
>more ryotego fics
>tegoshi singing nino's niji
>watch:
-itteQ-tegoshi eps
-massu's 'musashi'
-pi's 'byakkotai'
-ie ga tooi-news epi
-kei's high school musical
-kei's 'nurse aoi'
-kisarazu cat's eye
-princess d
+ the nightmare before christmas + harry potter + romeo and juliet + city of angels + now and then + moulin rouge + chocolat + from hell + the neverending story + the labyrinth + a walk to remember + the chocolate factory (willy wonka and charlie versions) + the secret garden + snow white: a tale of terror + great expectations + don juan de marco + napoleon dynamite + sleepover + sleepy hollow + centerstage + the sisterhood of the travelling pants + tuck everlasting + what a girl wants + casper + bourne identity + ocean's eleven + mr. bean + the abyss + deep blue sea + ghost ship + titanic + jurassic park (1,2&3) + resident evil (1,2&3) + the land of the dead + the dawn of the dead + ella enchanted + shrek (1,2&3) + face off + con air + the x-files + coach carter + time machine + the land before time + mulan + hocus pocus + interview with a vampire + practical magic + princess diaries + miss congeniality + queen of the damned + romeo must die + the others + thumbelina + ever after + breakfast at tiffany's + gone with the wind + west side story + bridget joneses diary (1&2) + brokedown palace + darkness falls + valentine + the exorcism of emily rose + witches + the count of monte cristo + shakespeare in love + love actually + the man in the iron mask + four weddings and a funeral + the island of dr. moreau + narnia: the lion, the with, and the wardrobe + the cube + the mummy (1&2) + identity + beetlejuice + frequency + phenomenon + the guru + stardust + pursuit of happyness + stardust + coraline + the lake house + the sorcerer's apprentice +
+ the twins effect + the death curse + hero + the house of flying daggers + crouching tiger, hidden dragon + the curse of the golden flower + infernal affairs (1,2&3) + my sassy girl + il mare + the classic + a millionaire's first love + kawi + koma + the uninvited + vacation (dbsk) + 200 pounds beauty + jenny&juno + one missed call (1,2&3) + the phone + the eye + a tale of two sisters + nana + death note1&2 + six + shutter + lovely complex + kanojo to no tadashii asobikata + chinese odyssey + protege de la rose noire + house of fury + spy dad + diva ah-hey + chinese tall story + new police story + 6AM + ab-normal beauty + battle royale + wishing stairs + the red shoes + shissou/dead run + one missed call 2 + attack on the pin-up boys (suju's movie) + cinderella ni naritai + boys love + kurosagi the movie + calling you + L change the world + koizora + crows zero + cyborg girl + tada, kimi wo aishiteru + 4bia/phobia + phobia 2 + coming soon + liar game: the final stage +
BOOKS
+ harry potter (j.k. rowling) + series of unfortunate events (lemony snickett) + stories of eva luna (isabel allende) + daddy long legs (jean webster) + behind the attic wall (sylvia cassedy) + how stella got her groove back (terry mcmillan) + pet sematary (stephen king) + stardust & coraline (neil gaiman) + robert fulghum books + roald dahl + frances hodgson burnett + grimm brothers + hans christian andersen + memeoirs of a teenage amnesia (gabrielle zevin +)
BOOB TUBE
+ csi las vegas + criminal minds + gilmore girls + supernatural + house m.d. + oprah + will and grace + extreme makeover (home edition) + charmed + joan of arcadia + dark angel + tru calling + angel + monk + the pretender + moonlight + i survived a japanese game show +
<3DRAMAS
+ beautiful days + love letter + winter sonata + my name is kim sam soon + my sassy girl chun-hyang + sweet 18 + meteor garden1&2 + dbsk's banjun drama + full house + goong + hana yori dango + bad family + nobuta wo produce + proposal daisakusen + kurosagi + my boss my hero + dragon zakura + hana yori dango2 + 1 litre of tears + 1 litre of tears sp + gachi baka + papa to musume no nanokakan + hanazakari no kimitachi e + himitsu no hanazono + tsubasa no oreta tenshitachi - season 1 + tsubasa no oreta tenshitachi - season 2 + tantei gakuen Q + liar game + shabake + sore wa totsuzen, arashi no you ni + sugata sanshirou + yukan club + deru toko demashou + lost time life (kei's episode) + waraeru koi wa shitakunai + anego + kakure karakuri + car radio ga owareba + last friends + absolute boyfriend + what's up, fox? + binbou danshi + 14 sai no haha + code blue + ryusei no kizuna + atashinchi no danshi + koishite akuma + buzzer beat + guests of room zero (koyama's & shige's episodes) + orthros no inu + you're beautiful + hidarime tantei eye + troubleman + sunao ni narenakute + loss time life + hyoten +
ANIME
+ fushigi yuugi + master of mosquiton + monster rancher + doraemon + fruits basket + trigun + sugar sugar rune + alice academy + cardcaptor sakura + time quest + ranma 1/2 + lovecom + gravitation + black blood brothers + ouran high host club + yamato nadeshiko shichi henge (the wallflower) + howl's moving castle + spirited away + kimi ni todoke +
UNFAITHFUL
+ chad michael murray + vincent kartheiser + jensen ackles + wentworth miller + james franco + sean faris + joseph fiennes + ewan mcgregor + ethan hawke + drew fuller + christopher gorham + channing tatum + liam aiken + topher grace + dhani lennevald + brad renfro + ralph fiennes + nicolas cage + jason statham + hugh jackman + diego luna + adam garcia + david duchovny + enrique iglesias + will estes + colin firth + dougray scott + antonio sabato jr. + alex o'loughlin + luke grimes +
++ jang woohyuk (h.o.t.) + micky yoochun (dbsk) + kim junghoon + jo insung + lee sangwoo + lee junki + kim jihoon + im joohwan + brian joo (ftts) + tablo (epik high) + t.o.p. (big bang) + attack (trax) + jin taehwa (battle) + kim dongwan (shinhwa) + park jinwoo + kim hyeseong + hyunbin + jang geunseok + wonbin (f.t island) + jung yonghwa (cnblue)
+++ tegoshi yuya + shun oguri + hongo kanata + news + kenichi matsuyama + ryo nishikido (news) + kazunari ninomiya (arashi) + matsuda shota + matsuda ryuhei + kaname jun + yamapi (news)+ tatsuya fujiwara + mizushima hiro + tsubasa imai (t&t) + wakaba ryuuya + hiraoka yuuta + tsukamoto takashi + tamayama tetsuji + yonemura daijiro & yodogawa yoshihiro (question?) + arioka daiki & yamada ryousuke (hey!say!) + ohkura tadayoshi (k8) + nakamaru yuichi (kat-tun) + oshinari shugo + tamaki hiroshi + mukai osamu + koide keisuke + miura haruma + seto koji + nakayama yuma + inohara yoshihiko (v6) +
++++ vanness wu (f4) + edison chen + jay chou + kenny kwan (boyz) + daniel wu + stephen fung + ananda everingham + golf + ray macdonald +
+++++ john lloyd cruz + jc de vera + enchong dee + hideaki torio +
LOVE THE MUSIC OF...
+ the corrs + sarah mclachlan + shawn colvin + michelle branch + selena + mariah carey + lee sooyoung + jewel + aaliyah + craig david + jason mraz + josh groban + boa + dbsk + lene marlin + frou frou + enya + leann rimes + big bang + sung sikyung + sg wannabe + se7en + epik high + clazziquai + loveholic + sugababes + all saints + lara fabian + gregorian chant + vonda shepard + foofighters + green day + rachael lampa + bosson + linda ronstadt + the cranberries + the cardigans + india arie + seal + george michael + lighthouse family + sting + garbage + dc talk + duncan sheik + coldplay + jars of clay + blur + third eye blind + john mayer + fiona apple + spice girls + kelly clarkson + utada hikaru + 'd sound + jim croce + david foster + eric clapton + boyz 2 men + babyface + alison krauss + richard marx + the company + jose mari chan + martine mccutcheon + kathy troccoli + jj lin + dream + honeyz + foj + darius + maksim + aaa + haley bennett + perfume + teddy geiger + yui + shimizu shota + kato miliyah + jyongri + coraline soundtrack +
BEAUTIES
+ nicole kidman + charlize theron + sandra bullock + anne hathaway + alexis bledel + evan rachel wood + amanda bynes + alexa vega + rachel mcadams + uma thurman + leelee sobieski + eliza dushku + emily browning + emma watson + dakota fanning + annasophia robb + alicia morton + kate maberly + mia maestro + jennifer connelly + paz vega + emmanuelle chriqui + hilary duff + marisa tomei + helena bonham carter + amber tamblyn + julia stiles + meredith bishop + thora birch + jessica alba + kristin kreuk + sara paxton + monica keena + katie holmes + marley shelton + camilla bell + angelina jolie + milla jovovich + amanda seyfried +
++ choi jiwoo + song hyegyo + jeon jihyun + son yehjin + goo hyejin + park shinhye + go ara + han jimin + lee yeonhee + bae seulgi (the reds) + ayumi (sugar) + song jihyo + yoon eunhye (baby vox) + han chaeyoung + kim taehee + han jihye + park bom + park heebon (milk) + kim bomi (milk) + chaeyeon + nam sangmi + cats + kara + lina and sunday (csjh) + sunye (wg) + kim ah-jung + uhm hyunkyung + yoo hyunyoung + choi sooyoung + han gain + kim junghwa + go eunah + goo hyesun + jung ryeowon (chakra) + kang junghwa + so yihyun + jo jungrin + kim ok-bin + eunseong + min seohyeon +
+++ nakashima mika + aoi miyazaki + horikita maki + toda erika + aragaki yui + shida mirai + uno misako + ueto aya + ueno juri + kashii yu + ito misaki + maya miki + ayase haruka + karina + narumi riko + kato rosa + naka riisa + esumi makiko + ito yuna + mimura + leah dizon + kiritani mirei + aoi yu +
++++ twins + miriam yeung + angelica lee + jolin tsai + rainie yang + niki chow + race wong + yumiko cheng + isabella leong + joey yung + stephy tang + janice wei vidal + vivian hsu +
+++++ maja salvador + erich gonzales + vaness del moral + jennica garcia +
*weeeeeeeeee*
candid shot
♥♥♥♥♥
