Come live in my heart and pay no rent ~手越祐也♥♥♥
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Tuesday, March 27, 2007
cleaning lady
waaaaaah! had no internet for 2 whole days, our pc's motherboard encountered a problem...so the past 2 days i did nothing but divert my attention, try not to think of this unfortunate event that befell me...tried to be productive, so i spent most of my sunday cleaning my room...only to find out that half a day was not enough for me to finish everything. gah! i haven't even gone through my clothes--i wanted to sort everything out, and give away old ones but it was superlate that i decided to do it on another time...i need to prepare myself, letting go of stuff is a hard task for me.
naturally, my nose couldn't take all the dust and dirt accumulated in my room. it was running like a faucet the whole time, i had to literally put something (a kind of plug) so that i can continue working, i couldn't even count how many times i've sneezed. plus i had to restrain myself from scratching bcoz i also develop rashes from the dust and heat aka allergic dermatitis. i really have to stack up on antihistamines the next time i'm gonna do some cleaning (and whenever our cat's around) or my nose will suffer again.
went to the lair again to visit my cats. and whee~i just found out that jihye was born on december--a sagitarrian like me. this would definitely make me love her more. no wonder i kinda said i would have done the same thing she did on lovechoice (except that breaking up kangin and seungah part). it's funny how most ppl who are close to me are born under that sign--well, we do share many similar traits.
my cousin is gonna arrive later. dunno if i should be excited or what. and whee~we are going to bacolod this april! finally i'm gonna see my cousins and my lola, and the soue book and chocolates my mom promised me. and i'm gonna see maryjo aka the hongkong disneyland heiress bwahaha!!! can't wait :D
omo! i almost forgot to mention, today is tin-tin's bday. but i actually surprised myself and greeted her early (a feat for an amnesiac--is there even such a word? gah--like me). happy bday palmer!!! she's gonna treat us to dinner tomorrow night, yay i'll get to see those girls i've been missing so much esp my neice joyce from our dysfunctional ong-go-y family! i love listening to her blab, wishing that maybe some smartness would rub off on me, hehe...
手越祐也の彼女@2:44 PM
Saturday, March 24, 2007
tired but happy
i'm beat, felt like i've run this superlong marathon. i need a body massage so bad! just got home from doing dental extractions the whole day. and i'm extra-weary bcoz i had to deal with kids (did i tell u how i dislike those little creatures?). but it's nice to think that i have actually done something for them (i'm not all that evil y'know). i love using ice cream as blackmail hehe. i dunno, i like kids but at a distance, bcoz if they get too crazy i lose my cool, hehe.
this day was something. even though i didn't have enough sleep (blame it on uplates, and last minute cramming), i still managed to dream, not just some dream but one that actually involves suju. i can't begin to describe how happy i felt when i woke up. i only dreamt of suju and donghae, yaaaaah! it seemed soooo real.
the dream: i had this girl-friend who wrote this tv show (similar to those shows where celebs surprise their fans), and told them how i'm such a big suju fan and all. so, without my knowing they set me up to this meet suju thing (suju actually went to my hometown). i was like sooo hysterical when i finally realized what was happening to me. and i felt guilty for hogging hae, like i was totally disregarding the other members bcoz i was busy asking (more of interviewing/probing) hae with all these questions (hey, can't blame me for being a hae-fangirl). night came and they're still there at my place, just hanging out. then i mentioned the hollywood bowl thingy (w/c was supposedly tomorrow) and they finally decided to go back to the hotel to get some rest. and i managed to pinch hannie's cheeks bcoz i found his new short haircut sooo cute, and siwon laughed at us...so, naturally i was on a high when i woke up. what a great way to start my day!!! ~*~
on our way to the orphanage we had to stop by the mall to pick up some peeps. and since i was still sleepy (i probably had just 3 hours of sleep), i decided to sleep on the van. so i brought my eye-pillow with me to block out the glare (i look funny with the eye-pillow but i really didn't care). i didn't even bother to say hi when i heard ppl come in the van, i just continued sleeping, making myself comfortable with the bunch of stuffed toys and pillows+my bag. not long after i fell asleep, it's so easy with music blasting from the mp3 player (i was listening to h.i.t. ost songs over and over again haha).
i think i woke up a little over an hour later and saw 3 other ppl in the van--2 ladies and 1 guy. oooh the guy had a good back view but i brushed the thought off convincing myself that guys that look good when viewed at the rear are never as goodlooking when u finally see them. but my oh my, when we alighted the van, he actually turned to where i was sitting and stared at me for 5 whole seconds, and he was smiling!!! maybe he was waiting for me to say hi or something since i was sleeping when he went in earlier. but i just stared back at him with a blank expression. i was too embarrassed to even muster a small smile. i don't even know how i looked at that time (i guess still looking sleepy and disoriented with unkempt hair) which was so regrettable since the guy is freakin' cute!!! huhu, that was the last time i saw him...if i had known, i wouldn't have slept at the whole duration of the ride.
oooh, i just remembered hae mentioning he likes wearing converses without socks!!! whee~another thing we have in common. i have that habit too--of wearing my converse shoes without socks (but it's always bcoz i'm too lazy). on my unlazy days i do wear socks, only bcoz i find them cute.
手越祐也の彼女@11:04 PM
Friday, March 23, 2007
three days worth...
haven't been blogging for 3 days...not that i wasn't able to go online, but i wasn't in the mood to post anything and posting everyday events is starting to be a drag, plus my lazy streak is starting again. so the past days all i've been doing is forums and blog-hopping, even in my own blog, haha!
i ventured into the city again. it has been like an experience for me everytime, since i haven't been roaming the city streets the way i used to. i have been practically imprisoned at home. my dad insisted i should go ahead and buy dental materials i'm gonna need for the free dental mission he had set-up for me at the orphanage that he manages. wohoo~i'm so excited *sarcastically joking*
so i figured since i'm in school, i'd go and buy the strawberry ice cream i've been craving for for days. so i went to the store my friends and i used to hang-out in every lunch break, dragging the delivery girl rose (where i ordered my materials). i sat there, happy marveling at the fact that i'm finally eating strawberry ice cream haha! i swear i sounded like an idiot, blurting out every few seconds how yummy the ice cream was, like it was the first time i've had it.
i know i shouldn't be doing this. another self-whacking moment, but i'm hard-headed just like all the other times. i still have tons of things to do, especially for tomorrow. huhu, i'm gonna be away from the pc and do oral exams and extractions all by myself. all of my friends have their hands full with work and can't come with me. gosh! i hope everything turns out well...
i just saw some vids about cats vs wg vs baby vox rev. it was fun watching them, i have missed my cats...and all 3 bands are hilarious...go ayaka! i just looove her voice. and jihye, that sheep hat was so cute! i'm loving her now. i think she and hae make a cute couple O.O haha! i'm insane...
i just realized that me and my crush will be on the same yearbook haha! although i'm supposed to be a year ahead...but since i graduated last october, i was included with the next batch of graduates (the ones who'll graduate this april). so, whee~i'm gonna see his face on my yearbook. sigh, what would i do if i haven't met hae? i'm sure i'd still be crushing on him. so, thanks to you hae! *gives hae a big kiss*
april, please come soon, i wanna see bacolod so bad. i so wanna give my grandma a big hug. and one more day to go and i'll be seeing my cousin. she's gonna come here in cebu to work. hope we'll have time to bond, the way we used to. sleepovers are never sleepovers for us. we end up not having sleep at all!
aish, i looove my mouse right now...NOT!!! i wanna kill it! it keeps on hanging, hence making me not enjoy my OL time. and i had this major headache earlier due to the pesticide again. i am really getting annoyed at our neighbor's mango plantation, maybe i'll go berserk one day and cut it all down. but i'm not all that bugged since i received a really good news that got me excited. i'm really happy, just when i thought i wouldn't have that chance anymore, an angel gave me hope :D
i'm addicted to the h.i.t. ost previews sung by suju. it's sooo good, can't wait for the ost to come out. i smile everytime i hear hae's voice. also saw the no-cut story of suju's nii summer photoshoot, i'm in yaoi and hae-heaven!!! and there's this 'snail' song kyuhyun sang at his latest guesting at mipoyu. when he looked at the camera, i died! i know i know i should go now, still have to re-wash and sterilize forceps, sleep early, and i need to pray for tomorrow. dental procedures should never be taken lightly =_=
手越祐也の彼女@11:18 PM
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
so-so
still craving for strawberry ice cream...if only pictures come to life, i would have been happily glomping that picture at every chance i get. i swear if i can't have it soon i'm going to go nuts! i kid not! it has really turned into something grave.
today has been so-so. i really can't define my mood any clearly. i went into the lair to get my fill of cats, and it kinda disappointed me. they are still on the same spot where i left them last. this is getting me uneasy, surely it wasn't what jihye did in that lovechoice episode. oh come on! give the girl a break. at least she has the guts to show her true self. gosh, korea has some whacko fangirls and antis someone should really put a stop to it. i mean clearly they have undeniable talent, and i hate to see it go to waste just bcoz someone is being prejudiced. i mean, grow up, will u? well, it doesn't matter anyway, bcoz i am not swayed, when i'm loyal i am loyal, and that's that...just praying that they'll have more success.
and haniyyah found my blog! whee~i'm hyped. it's been ages since we last saw each other, last october to be exact, a week after i graduated. and the plan to go out still hasn't happened, i think we both are eternally waiting for it to happen. i just miss her so much! my twin sister from another mother haha!
and as usual i'm acting guard to the forum with my co-nightshifter queen. an alternative job for bums like us, i must say we have been at this for many nights now. and i kinda enjoy our times together, dunno why we just get along really fine...hmmm could it be our age? haha! hope she doesn't read any of this...
and i'm getting addicted to jojo's 'too little too late' (w/c explains my bg song)...i've been listening to it for the nth time and bobbing my head. haha! i'm sooo fickle-mided when it comes to things like this, and many other things...aish, what am i saying...i'm fickle-minded in everything!!!
手越祐也の彼女@9:23 PM
Monday, March 19, 2007
-_-
my day's starting to end bad...first of all, i didn't have any strawberry ice cream. my brother went to the store and all but--NO STRAWBERRY ICE CREAM!!! the stupid grocery doesn't have any T_T i want i want i want! (warning: sign of pms!)...and spent hours trying to figure out why i can't put on a new skin for this blog. it always turns out to have errors, w/c my iq could not comprehend -_- i ended up having this headache and a not good mood...
手越祐也の彼女@9:11 PM
feeling nostalgic
a poem i wrote 3 years ago, almost forgotten...no title...
~~~~~~~~~~~
on the old bench by my old school building, i sat
gazing at the different colors of sunset
reflected on the freshly mown grassy field
slowly, i took off my maryjanes and picked them up
before standing to walk the path that led
to the back of the ancient greenhouse
with its rusty door and broken glass panes
but still growing beautiful red roses and daisies
their aroma carried by the wind to where i stood
i could feel the pebbles against the soles of my feet
brown leaves crunching as I pressed on them
still i walked further on
there was a slight afternoon breeze
blowing my untied hair away from my face
i closed my eyes as the cold kissed my cheeks
memories of yesterday playing in my mind
the endless talks of old friends
that familiar feeling of first love
it took me a while to open my eyes
to let go of everything i hold dear
as the old school gate appeared in view
i blinked back the tears and heaved up my suitcase
the sound of the nearing bus reached my ears
taking a long last look around, i bade goodbye…
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
手越祐也の彼女@3:52 PM
the way OL addicts are...
ok, so i wasn't able to go OL yesterday. as predicted i was acting like an addict experiencing withdrawals from being kept from the pc. one day away from the forum and i miss it so much. yep, i'm a certified addict. but i just can't, it wasn't a good time to follow my whims. and i kinda welcome it somehow (no matter how painful), a time away, to think...
two nights ago, saw some pics and gifs from nii...and hae! i just missed him so so much i got giddy just from seeing him. the light feeling still hasn't rubbed off until now.
last night while i was listening to enya's 'book of days' as a way of calming myself, i suddenly remembered this poem i wrote from a few years back, and so i decided to look for it from my stacks of burned files...i'm really not good at poems, i probably wrote two in my whole life! and i am a frustrated writer too. i always wanted to try fic writing with so many ideas in my head, but they are just that, mere ideas. i never had the guts to make it into a story...and i'm constantly in need of inspiration to get me going...
my craving for strawberry ice cream has reached new heights. i dunno why i'm craving it so much, considering i used to hate it then. i'm waiting for my brother to come back from the grocery, i sent him to buy me one, plus some other things...gah, what's taking him so long?
手越祐也の彼女@2:03 PM
Saturday, March 17, 2007
saturday, bed day...
went in the kitchen this morning and i didn't see our cat hovering around. usually she would greet me and graze my feet but today she was nowhere to be found. i realized that despite getting occasionally annoyed with her pestering meows, constantly following me all over the house (even to the toilet!), and her causing most of my allergic attacks, i have been too accustomed to her presence. i feel the house isn't complete without her.
another lazy day, all i did was flick through tv channels, lie in bed all day, with ipod earphones glued to my ears. there i was, lying in bed, facing the big window, where i can see dried leaves detach from their stems and fall to the ground, waiting for a change in the color of the sky to indicate that the sun has set in this part of the world.
good thing i have 'supernatural' to look forward to or i would've been bored to death. i just found myself watching it week after week. now i just have to have my saturday fix. i can't pass up a chance to see jensen ackles, not to mention it was really my kind of show.
oh, and i'm relieved that the news of hae having this new group project thingy turned out to be just a rumor...so much for me worrying over nothing...
手越祐也の彼女@9:55 PM
Friday, March 16, 2007
ordinary day...messy post
i wanted to recount the day's events but there wasn't that much to write about, just another ordinary day in a bum's life. my dad spent most of the day cleaning the house. it's amazing how he could find so many tasks to do, and he was in the mood to rearrange our furnitures too. so he was walking here and there carrying our old wooden roundtable, trying to see where it would look better, while i was in the kitchen the whole time--eating, then washing the dishes, then cooking, and washing the dishes again, the same cycle. i couldn't possibly sit in front of the pc while my dad was busy cleaning. i don't want him to suddenly turn into kangin >.<>
手越祐也の彼女@8:00 PM
Thursday, March 15, 2007
re-thinking...
i'm not feeling so good...i'm having runny nose, and the bridge of my nose feels numb and painful at the same time...argh! of all the things i hate, i hate having rhinitis...i had been sneezing like crazy since yesterday...and as silly as it is, sneezing reminds me of kyuhyun's cyworld (hehe)...yep, i have allergy attacks again...gah, what's the use of having a nice nose when it's this troublesome -_-
i feel kinda stupid, like i wanna laugh at myself...i'm not feeling all that depressed anymore...i guess i really needed some time off to think things over...and that i did, i thought about hae's situation...and again i had the urge to laugh and whack myself with a toy hammer...i felt so silly for overreacting...well, i can't blame myself, and i don't regret acting that way, bcoz that's what i was feeling at that moment...i must admit i tend to act childish on a whim...
i willingly forced myself to look on the bright side, not an easy task for a pessimist like me...after reading christeuk's post on her blog and her comment, it kinda got me to thinking along the same plane...to actually consider the good that's happening in all of this...yes, i know i am really close-minded at times, and sometimes need other people to make me see otherwise...so now that i'm a bit clear-headed and less emotional (well, it's really true that emotions sometimes cloud your better judgement), i actually started considering it...
in fact i'm getting curious about this project thingy...haha! you must think how i had been so easily swayed, had a change of heart overnight, but that's that, i do have my flaws...at least i had the trait of being a typical girl, fickle-mindedness, hehe...so back to hae...i guess it would be better (i hate to agree with LSM on anything but ugh!)...i know i really should be happy that hae's doing this...bcoz i have been missing him terribly...and i wanna see him back in action...
maybe it is better to be having this new thing...hopefully, this is gonna focus more on his strong points (bcoz i had to say that for someone with his talents, he's being overshadowed by other members w/c makes me sad, and i just didn't wanna dwell on it and just try to push it at the back of my head bcoz for all i know i'm just being my paranoid self)...i know he could do a lot of great things and maybe he would shine more if he's away from suju, doing his own thing...yep, i'm being mature when i say this...so, i would in fact just be supporting him (after all he's my fave suju guy) in whatever it is he does and will be doing in the future...there's just no way i'd be stopping just bcoz he's not gonna be working w/ suju anymore (well, for this project at least)...
what kind of fan am i if i fail him? if anything, i think he needs my support more this time to see him through...and not entertain bad vibes...yep, i keep telling myself to think positive...so i'm just gonna wait for whatever that's gonna happen...and i hope (i'm being truly sincere this time) that it becomes a success...i do believe he can rise up to it...and yeah, i'm looking forward to seeing a new hae *smiles* aja aja! i can do this...for hae, i will!
手越祐也の彼女@3:03 PM
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
is it 'good morning'?
sucky morning...i woke up today, my eyes hurt...i am calmer than i was last night but still worried...i've been thinking...re-evalauting the situation...i really should be happy for hae...maybe i'm just viewing this on a different side and can not see the positiveness...but sigh, it's hard for me to keep convincing myself...i honestly don't know what to feel anymore...it just feels like i lost all those passion i had to go on...like there's actually nothing to look forward to...
i don't want to keep thinking about it...my head hurts and my eyes would tear up...i just wanna stop thinking altogether...i want to get myself pre-occupied...i wanna watch something funny...anything to keep my mind from straying to hae...
手越祐也の彼女@2:38 PM
news of hae forming a new group...
god, i'm so depressed right now...just heard the news that donghae's going to have this new group...apart from suju...i thought a bomb dropped on me! i couldn't believe my ears...refused to face the fact...it felt like time stood still, like my head is reeling with disbelief...a painful turnabout of events...just earlier i was feeling positive, and come later, i was greeted with this news...tears started welling up my eyes...the thought of hae not being in suju is unbearable...i couldn't even think of him with other artists...this feels much too soon...and too much for me to handle...
after all those days of draught, of not seeing him, of not hearing from him...of living with the fact that he was excluded in sujuT...it was torture for me living through those days...every freaking single day i wished i would see him, or hear him actually doing something other than wait in mokpo...it hurts me to see him that way...and i was hoping LSM would hurry up and make him do something...i feel injustice...
but this i did not expect...this wasn't what i was waiting so patiently for...this was a sucky way of rewarding my loyalty to hae...i would never think LSM would put him in this kind of project...suju has not even released their 2nd album for crying out loud...i can't help but feeling that LSM is not being fair...he's just being his selfish self...why did it have to be hae? hae--who is the sole reason i am what i am now...hae who can bring a smile to my face even thru a simple picture...hae who has made living bearable...the one who made me so happy for being single...who had changed me the way nobody can...why him? didn't he prove to be good enough? or is it bcoz he was too good? still, why did the first one have to be him?
i know this was bound to happen...i just had this feeling in my gut, even back in sujuT days...i was wondering what would become of the others...siwon and kibum are doing well in acting...hankyung had things going in china...but what about hae? why did i have this feeling he was being discarded? but i let that pass...and tho i'm happy about sujuT...i just can't seem to listen to 'don't go away' without hae's voice in it...it's too lonely, there's too much of a thing missing...as much as i wish against it, i know that the day will come for them to go their separate ways but at least give us time to prepare for it...bcoz this new group thing totally caught me off guard...
oh i know i should be happy for hae...and i feel guilty for feeling the opposite...hoping that it would be a flop would be too much...and it would hurt me as it would hurt hae bcoz i know that he would put his heart into it...but if it turns out successful...i shudder to even think of the possibilities...but either way i'm caught in a bind...can't help wondering about his opinion on this new thing...is he happy? i mean career-wise it would give him more exposure...but wouldn't he even miss suju, his rowdy hyungs and dongsaengs?
i know i shouldn't be too melodramatic and blow things out of proportion...but i am getting alarmed...and i'm getting scared day by day...i know it would just be a matter of time before they all split up...but please not right now...not yet...and the sad part is no matter how i am so against it...i can do nothing...i am powerless and at LSM's mercy...he plays his artists like a cunningly clever puppet master...what more way to earn more money, wohoo!...and in the end he wins...and all i could do is sit here, and watch this tragedy unfold before my eyes...my chest feels as heavy as lead...i wish i could just sleep and wake up the next day and find out that it had all been a horrible nightmare...hell, i don't even know if i could sleep in this condition T_T hae, don't leave, please stay...
手越祐也の彼女@1:24 AM
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
alone again...
listening to 'n sync's thinking of u...i dunno, suddenly missed their songs...home alone, my folks went to the ophanage again and they won't be back till tomorrow, this time they brought my brother with them (thank god!)...i'd rather be left alone than to be with him...i won't have to worry where he wandered off and what time he decides to show up...not mentioning putting our dogs on hunger strike...i'd rather do the task myself than have the blood in my veins all dried up...
been sitting in front of the pc for hours (this line is starting to get old, haha)...but i didn't really accomplish anything since the stupid thing keeps on shutting off by itself every 20 mins...so i got too pissed and decided to leave it...had lunch while watching 'the family stone' and cried again, i'm getting too emo these days, and it wasn't even that sad...
good thing i found the shoulder brace thingy i had been looking for for days and had been wearing it since yesterday...when i went into the kitchen, my dad had this funny look on his face, haha maybe bcoz i did look funny (i look like i'm wearing a parachute)...well, i'm not stupid enough to think that it would remedy my hunched posture but at least it keeps my back straight which i'm too tired to do myself...and it's not even mine, it's my brother's...he had to wear it when he broke his clavicle when we were kids...but now i'm using it...and it's very helpful...see my back doesn't ache even after hours of sitting bcoz it prevents slouching...
手越祐也の彼女@7:05 PM
when i...
still copied from friendster...while i'm waiting for the mood to write...for my brain to work...
WHEN iRUN AWAY FROM U >> ur scaring me!!!
WHEN I POUT >> i'm trying to copy suju, haha!
WHEN i KICK >> i'll kick a non-living thing
WHEN i CALL U CRAZY >> it means in a good way :P
WHEN i AM SILENT >> i don't wanna say anything bad, hurtful, or contradictory
WHEN i IGNORE YOU >> i don't like u!
WHEN i PULL AWAY >> i am repelled by u
WHEN YOU SEE ME AT MY WORST >> it means ur my friend (for me to actually let u see me at my worst)
WHEN i SCREAM AT YOU >> it means i'm really mad
iF i DONT CALL YOU >> understandable--i'm very stingy
WHILE i HOLD YOUR HANDS >> i'll enjoy the moment
手越祐也の彼女@4:35 PM
My Life's OST
:) actually answered it on friendster...but i find it really fun (well, for me anyway, who loves music so much)...so i just had to do it again, haha!
IF YOUR LIFE WAS A MOVIE, WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE? So, here's how it works: 1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc) 2. Put it on shuffle 3. Press play 4. For every question, type the song that's playing 5. When you go to a new question, press the next button 6. Don't lie and try to pretend you're cool...
----------------
Opening Credits: > Daydream Believer-Shonen Knife *oooh, good opening song...it's so me*
Waking Up: > Smile-Kyuhyun *waaah, this has been my waking-up song (for real)...Q, leave me alone!!!*
First Day At School: > Don't Go Away-SujuT *er, i'll bring featherboas to school?*
Falling In Love: > So Sick-Ne Yo (female version) *haha! jaded, yup, that i am*
Fight Song: > Single For The Rest Of My Life-Issys *a stalker's lovesong imo*
Breaking Up: > Blue And Yellow-The Used *giving out advices, huh?*
Prom: > Why Can't I?-Liz Phair *eeeek, i surely can't breathe if i were dancing with hae*
Life: > A Whole New World-Peabo Bryson & Regina Bell *imagining myself singing a duet with Q*
Mental Breakdown: > Girls On Top-BoA *oh yeah, i'm gonna dance like i'm crazy*
Driving: > Bad Boy-Wonder Girls *aaah, that goes out to all law-breaking drivers*
Flashback: > Dancing Out-SuJu *HAHA!*
Wedding: > Tonight-DBSK *thinking of the wedding night already?*
Birth of Child: > At Seventeen-Janis Ian *this i didn't get*
Final Battle: > Close To You (ballad version)-Whigfield *too soft for a battle song*
Death Scene: > This Masquerade-The Carpenters *eh? dying in style*
Funeral Song: > Hot Ddeugeo-1tym *haha! funeral-turned-disco*
Credits: > LaLa Means I Love You-Swing Out Sisters *nice*
手越祐也の彼女@4:31 PM
Sunday, March 11, 2007
the tag game
errr, i'm being put on the spot >.<
10 things about me...
RULES:"Each player of this game starts off with ten weird things or habits or little known facts about yourself. People who get tagged must write in a blog of their own ten weird things or habits or little known facts as well as state this rule clearly. At the end you must choose six people togged and list their names. No tagbacks!"
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1. i am a nocturnal person -- i didn't know when it all started but i just realized that i have trouble sleeping early at night...it just seems like my mind is abuzz with thoughts...i find so many interesting things to do that i don't even think of at daytime...
2. i have a criminal mind -- it's true...sometimes i even thought up of elaborate schemes, of killing someone in my head, and enjoying every bit of it...
3. i have OCD -- now i really do think i have! i just read this article a while ago bcoz i was hoping that my hunch was not true, but to my horror, i can identify with most of the symptoms mentioned...huhu, no wonder i have these urges to do things that i don't want to do, bcoz somehow my mind wouldn't be put to rest if i didn't perform these so-called rituals...and it really is a burden for me who is tamad...wherever did u see a lazy person who has OCD?
4. my 'crush' phenomena -- this one's kinda funny...i have been popular for my having these crazy crushes...i mean, i turn into this real whacko everytime i have a crush on someone...i can do really 'drastic' things that blew away even my closest friends...when i have a crush on someone, it doesn't just blow over...it would take me years to forget the guy...and everyone around will say that what i'm feeling is beyond the boundary of crush-hood...but i simply say 'it's just a crush!'
5. i love children's books -- i fancy fairytales, and movie adaptations of children's stories...even nursery rhymes!!!
6. i'm a HORROR freak -- yup! i loooove watching horror movies...i have seen a lot that i even forget the titles...the perfect setting for horror-movie-watching is: @ midnight, when i'm alone in the house, watching it in the basement (where the windows are all wooden grills human hands can pass through), and behind it are copses...it also have a collection of scary stories...
7. when i was in kinder i went home all by myself -- i realize now that i never really had patience ever since i was a kid...this is one proof...i got so impatient waiting for my aunt to fetch me that i decided to go home myself...i crossed a busy street, passed by the market, and went home (as of i was so sure of where i was headed)...my aunt was so worried sick to find me gone from the lobby only to arrive home to find me sitting on the front steps with this big grin on my face!
8. i dislike kids -- esp those stinky and hyper kids...i don't feel motherly instincts whenever i'm around them...on the contrary i feel like cruella de vil...if there are kids in the room, i wouldn't go over to say 'hi'...i would stay away as humanly possible...but i can be polite to them too, if i need to...
9. i value things too much -- i have so much appreciation for the words 'sentimental value'...i'm a basurera of sort...my dad wouldn't even try getting inside my room bcoz according to him it has morphed into a jungle, haha!
10. i'm a crybaby -- almost anything can make me cry...even watching an episode of oprah (the last one was about genocide) i will cry a river...even corny soaps...sad movies...sad stories...when i was younger, i would cry if someone ignored me, even if they didn't do it on purpose...sometimes i would just cry bcoz i feel like it...goodbyes make me cry the most...
----------------- tagged : christeuk
手越祐也の彼女@6:03 PM
Wednesday, March 7, 2007
boredom
if it can kill i'd be long dead...i can't remember how many times i've thought and said this but it really just hits me every so often...the realization that i am living a boring life...yep, i feel like i am stuck, suspended, stagnant...while others around me are going about, paving the way, creating their own lives and building their careers...i am here...in this place i don't wanna be in...yearning to be out in the world, to be in the hustle and bustle of the crowd...i miss the morning rushes, of days when i am running late, of almost having heart-attacks just so i could pass before the deadline...i never thought i would miss it, not in a million years...it seems like as the days pass by, i fade into nothingness, i forget about a lot of things, feeling so sorry and pitiful, feeling so useless...can't help wondering what it is i am really here for...what is it that i am supposed to be doing...bcoz at this point i don't have a clue...and i can feel panic rising, the urge to do something, to be of some kind of worth...
手越祐也の彼女@1:00 AM
Tuesday, March 6, 2007
han jeonhee signing in!
tsk tsk tsk...believe it or not, i have been actually sitting in front of the computer screen for hours...and my mind is as blank as a clean sheet of A4 sized bond paper...so many things on my mind, so disorganized, i'm finding it hard to decide which one i'd give voice to...so in the end, it's a mess...i'm a mess...so before i completely become useless...i figured i'd let jeonhee have a say...
haha...no, she's not another person...she's actually me hiding behind an alias and a not so different personality...it just basically means that when han jeonhee talks, she would be talking about suju-related stuff...after all, that's where she was created, solely for the purpose of feeling like she's part of suju's life...
so, on with it...i'm lending the keyboard to han jeonhee *claps claps* ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ hi to all! i'm han jeonhee :) >>born to parents choi siwon and kim heechul--the sweet shichul couple >>siblings: jaejoong (yes! han jaejoong), hankyung, leeteuk (adoptive family), hyanggi (half-sis...mommy heechul's daughter with another man, haha!) >>status: married to lee donghae...has 3 kids with him--danie, twins wonsung (lil eunhyuk) and youngkyoung (lil hae) >>extended family: man myeong mi (jeje's wifey), christeuk (teukie's ae-in) >>bestfriends: hyukjae, shindong, risu >>other men: kyuhyun (the mistake), sungmin (the ex)
hmmm...what was it i wanted to say? ahhh...i just wanna spazz about hyanggi...just found out she's my half-sis...mommy heechul! ur breaking daddy's heart!!! but hyanggi's shooo cute, can't help but love her! mommy's got some explaining to do... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
hehe, didn't i tell you i'm crazy?
手越祐也の彼女@5:14 PM
momentarily out of whack
whew! i thought i could never come back...hehe, my being paranoid is kicking again...hmmm...it's very late, i'm way past my bedtime, but here i am still typing nonsense...was supposed to watch a movie but bcoz i'm literally stuck to the computer, the time passed...and no movie for me...now i'm feeling groggy, and my back aches so i guess my body's telling me to SLEEP =_=
手越祐也の彼女@2:28 AM
Monday, March 5, 2007
lost...
oooh wow, i've actually never tried this before so it may not seem like something but for the longest time i have wanted a blog of my own...but for some reason i didn't bcoz of a lot of things that held me back...
so, i know my blog might look boring and bare right now...and i'm not really sure how to go about it...but i'll try...just needed a place where i can finally say everything i want...without any second thoughts...most importantly, this is a very good way of talking to myself--a reflection of sort...maybe in that way i'd understand me a little bit more...
手越祐也の彼女@11:13 PM
Welcome
you have stumbled upon my blog~ the chocoholic's refuge
feel free to wander around...
shout-outs are much appreciated :)
and one more thing,
this is my blog
if you don't like what you see
then GET LOST!
why are you here anyways?
>NewS 大好き!!!
>johnny depp
>tegoshi yuya ♥♥♥♥♥
>テゴマス最高!!!
>purple and green
>chocolates, coffee, cheese
>kpop, jpop, cpop, opm classics, oldies
>dramas/series
>horror flicks
>great danes, rottweilers, yorkies, dachshunds, schnauzers
>halloween & christmas
>eeyore & doraemon
>noona songs
>potatoes & buttered toast
>miniatures
>paper & pens
>susan baker tea
>my lola's leche flan
>sleep overs
>ice cream sandwiches
>tumblers & coasters
>pistachios
>purin
>okonomiyaki
>road trips
>picture books
>paisley & velvet
>candied fruits
>old wives' tales
>mang ambo by larry alcala
>pugad baboy by pmjr
>te-no-ma-shi
>jwebs
>RyoTego
>NewS' Never Ending Wonderful Story dvd
>G3-my partners in crime!
Hates
>worms, maggots, caterpillars, etc.
>rainy days and mondays
>math
>cigarette smoke
>fishbones
>frying fish
>household chores
>my sensitive nose -_-
>waiting
>traffic
>two-faced ppl
>spicy food
>clutter
>being pressured
>crappy service
>shopping
>crowded places
>directions
>too much drama
>sad endings
>monthly periods
>backlogging
>chain letters
>exclusivity and all that shit
>backbiters and rumor-mongers
>being binbou -_-
>my full name
>multi-tasking
>arguments
>my brother XP
>delusional fangirls
>unwanted admirers/suitors/textmates (GRRRR!)
>Tegoshi and RyoTego haters
>blondes
>rumors/tabloids
Wishlist
>'MEMOIRS' philippine release
>TegoMass concert dvd
>a Coraline doll
>harry potter and the deathly hallows
>a series of unfortunate events (complete)
>more neil gaiman books
>the adventures of tin-tin
>my own dika
>new celphone
>jenga and twister games
>revel bars!!! *drools*
>body shop's olive oil
>maltese or yorkie
>electronic dictionary
>the nightmare before christmas merchandise
>JE merchandise
>okaneeeeee~
>lose weight overnight
>mole under left eye
>learn how to play violin/cello
>learn how to bake
>bungee jump
>vacation to japan, thailand, korea
>go to a NewS concert
>my own tegoshi yuya XD
>more ryotego fics
>tegoshi singing nino's niji
>watch:
-itteQ-tegoshi eps
-massu's 'musashi'
-pi's 'byakkotai'
-ie ga tooi-news epi
-kei's high school musical
-kei's 'nurse aoi'
-kisarazu cat's eye
-princess d
+ the nightmare before christmas + harry potter + romeo and juliet + city of angels + now and then + moulin rouge + chocolat + from hell + the neverending story + the labyrinth + a walk to remember + the chocolate factory (willy wonka and charlie versions) + the secret garden + snow white: a tale of terror + great expectations + don juan de marco + napoleon dynamite + sleepover + sleepy hollow + centerstage + the sisterhood of the travelling pants + tuck everlasting + what a girl wants + casper + bourne identity + ocean's eleven + mr. bean + the abyss + deep blue sea + ghost ship + titanic + jurassic park (1,2&3) + resident evil (1,2&3) + the land of the dead + the dawn of the dead + ella enchanted + shrek (1,2&3) + face off + con air + the x-files + coach carter + time machine + the land before time + mulan + hocus pocus + interview with a vampire + practical magic + princess diaries + miss congeniality + queen of the damned + romeo must die + the others + thumbelina + ever after + breakfast at tiffany's + gone with the wind + west side story + bridget joneses diary (1&2) + brokedown palace + darkness falls + valentine + the exorcism of emily rose + witches + the count of monte cristo + shakespeare in love + love actually + the man in the iron mask + four weddings and a funeral + the island of dr. moreau + narnia: the lion, the with, and the wardrobe + the cube + the mummy (1&2) + identity + beetlejuice + frequency + phenomenon + the guru + stardust + pursuit of happyness + stardust + coraline + the lake house + the sorcerer's apprentice +
+ the twins effect + the death curse + hero + the house of flying daggers + crouching tiger, hidden dragon + the curse of the golden flower + infernal affairs (1,2&3) + my sassy girl + il mare + the classic + a millionaire's first love + kawi + koma + the uninvited + vacation (dbsk) + 200 pounds beauty + jenny&juno + one missed call (1,2&3) + the phone + the eye + a tale of two sisters + nana + death note1&2 + six + shutter + lovely complex + kanojo to no tadashii asobikata + chinese odyssey + protege de la rose noire + house of fury + spy dad + diva ah-hey + chinese tall story + new police story + 6AM + ab-normal beauty + battle royale + wishing stairs + the red shoes + shissou/dead run + one missed call 2 + attack on the pin-up boys (suju's movie) + cinderella ni naritai + boys love + kurosagi the movie + calling you + L change the world + koizora + crows zero + cyborg girl + tada, kimi wo aishiteru + 4bia/phobia + phobia 2 + coming soon + liar game: the final stage +
BOOKS
+ harry potter (j.k. rowling) + series of unfortunate events (lemony snickett) + stories of eva luna (isabel allende) + daddy long legs (jean webster) + behind the attic wall (sylvia cassedy) + how stella got her groove back (terry mcmillan) + pet sematary (stephen king) + stardust & coraline (neil gaiman) + robert fulghum books + roald dahl + frances hodgson burnett + grimm brothers + hans christian andersen + memeoirs of a teenage amnesia (gabrielle zevin +)
BOOB TUBE
+ csi las vegas + criminal minds + gilmore girls + supernatural + house m.d. + oprah + will and grace + extreme makeover (home edition) + charmed + joan of arcadia + dark angel + tru calling + angel + monk + the pretender + moonlight + i survived a japanese game show +
<3DRAMAS
+ beautiful days + love letter + winter sonata + my name is kim sam soon + my sassy girl chun-hyang + sweet 18 + meteor garden1&2 + dbsk's banjun drama + full house + goong + hana yori dango + bad family + nobuta wo produce + proposal daisakusen + kurosagi + my boss my hero + dragon zakura + hana yori dango2 + 1 litre of tears + 1 litre of tears sp + gachi baka + papa to musume no nanokakan + hanazakari no kimitachi e + himitsu no hanazono + tsubasa no oreta tenshitachi - season 1 + tsubasa no oreta tenshitachi - season 2 + tantei gakuen Q + liar game + shabake + sore wa totsuzen, arashi no you ni + sugata sanshirou + yukan club + deru toko demashou + lost time life (kei's episode) + waraeru koi wa shitakunai + anego + kakure karakuri + car radio ga owareba + last friends + absolute boyfriend + what's up, fox? + binbou danshi + 14 sai no haha + code blue + ryusei no kizuna + atashinchi no danshi + koishite akuma + buzzer beat + guests of room zero (koyama's & shige's episodes) + orthros no inu + you're beautiful + hidarime tantei eye + troubleman + sunao ni narenakute + loss time life + hyoten +
ANIME
+ fushigi yuugi + master of mosquiton + monster rancher + doraemon + fruits basket + trigun + sugar sugar rune + alice academy + cardcaptor sakura + time quest + ranma 1/2 + lovecom + gravitation + black blood brothers + ouran high host club + yamato nadeshiko shichi henge (the wallflower) + howl's moving castle + spirited away + kimi ni todoke +
UNFAITHFUL
+ chad michael murray + vincent kartheiser + jensen ackles + wentworth miller + james franco + sean faris + joseph fiennes + ewan mcgregor + ethan hawke + drew fuller + christopher gorham + channing tatum + liam aiken + topher grace + dhani lennevald + brad renfro + ralph fiennes + nicolas cage + jason statham + hugh jackman + diego luna + adam garcia + david duchovny + enrique iglesias + will estes + colin firth + dougray scott + antonio sabato jr. + alex o'loughlin + luke grimes +
++ jang woohyuk (h.o.t.) + micky yoochun (dbsk) + kim junghoon + jo insung + lee sangwoo + lee junki + kim jihoon + im joohwan + brian joo (ftts) + tablo (epik high) + t.o.p. (big bang) + attack (trax) + jin taehwa (battle) + kim dongwan (shinhwa) + park jinwoo + kim hyeseong + hyunbin + jang geunseok + wonbin (f.t island) + jung yonghwa (cnblue)
+++ tegoshi yuya + shun oguri + hongo kanata + news + kenichi matsuyama + ryo nishikido (news) + kazunari ninomiya (arashi) + matsuda shota + matsuda ryuhei + kaname jun + yamapi (news)+ tatsuya fujiwara + mizushima hiro + tsubasa imai (t&t) + wakaba ryuuya + hiraoka yuuta + tsukamoto takashi + tamayama tetsuji + yonemura daijiro & yodogawa yoshihiro (question?) + arioka daiki & yamada ryousuke (hey!say!) + ohkura tadayoshi (k8) + nakamaru yuichi (kat-tun) + oshinari shugo + tamaki hiroshi + mukai osamu + koide keisuke + miura haruma + seto koji + nakayama yuma + inohara yoshihiko (v6) +
++++ vanness wu (f4) + edison chen + jay chou + kenny kwan (boyz) + daniel wu + stephen fung + ananda everingham + golf + ray macdonald +
+++++ john lloyd cruz + jc de vera + enchong dee + hideaki torio +
LOVE THE MUSIC OF...
+ the corrs + sarah mclachlan + shawn colvin + michelle branch + selena + mariah carey + lee sooyoung + jewel + aaliyah + craig david + jason mraz + josh groban + boa + dbsk + lene marlin + frou frou + enya + leann rimes + big bang + sung sikyung + sg wannabe + se7en + epik high + clazziquai + loveholic + sugababes + all saints + lara fabian + gregorian chant + vonda shepard + foofighters + green day + rachael lampa + bosson + linda ronstadt + the cranberries + the cardigans + india arie + seal + george michael + lighthouse family + sting + garbage + dc talk + duncan sheik + coldplay + jars of clay + blur + third eye blind + john mayer + fiona apple + spice girls + kelly clarkson + utada hikaru + 'd sound + jim croce + david foster + eric clapton + boyz 2 men + babyface + alison krauss + richard marx + the company + jose mari chan + martine mccutcheon + kathy troccoli + jj lin + dream + honeyz + foj + darius + maksim + aaa + haley bennett + perfume + teddy geiger + yui + shimizu shota + kato miliyah + jyongri + coraline soundtrack +
BEAUTIES
+ nicole kidman + charlize theron + sandra bullock + anne hathaway + alexis bledel + evan rachel wood + amanda bynes + alexa vega + rachel mcadams + uma thurman + leelee sobieski + eliza dushku + emily browning + emma watson + dakota fanning + annasophia robb + alicia morton + kate maberly + mia maestro + jennifer connelly + paz vega + emmanuelle chriqui + hilary duff + marisa tomei + helena bonham carter + amber tamblyn + julia stiles + meredith bishop + thora birch + jessica alba + kristin kreuk + sara paxton + monica keena + katie holmes + marley shelton + camilla bell + angelina jolie + milla jovovich + amanda seyfried +
++ choi jiwoo + song hyegyo + jeon jihyun + son yehjin + goo hyejin + park shinhye + go ara + han jimin + lee yeonhee + bae seulgi (the reds) + ayumi (sugar) + song jihyo + yoon eunhye (baby vox) + han chaeyoung + kim taehee + han jihye + park bom + park heebon (milk) + kim bomi (milk) + chaeyeon + nam sangmi + cats + kara + lina and sunday (csjh) + sunye (wg) + kim ah-jung + uhm hyunkyung + yoo hyunyoung + choi sooyoung + han gain + kim junghwa + go eunah + goo hyesun + jung ryeowon (chakra) + kang junghwa + so yihyun + jo jungrin + kim ok-bin + eunseong + min seohyeon +
+++ nakashima mika + aoi miyazaki + horikita maki + toda erika + aragaki yui + shida mirai + uno misako + ueto aya + ueno juri + kashii yu + ito misaki + maya miki + ayase haruka + karina + narumi riko + kato rosa + naka riisa + esumi makiko + ito yuna + mimura + leah dizon + kiritani mirei + aoi yu +
++++ twins + miriam yeung + angelica lee + jolin tsai + rainie yang + niki chow + race wong + yumiko cheng + isabella leong + joey yung + stephy tang + janice wei vidal + vivian hsu +
+++++ maja salvador + erich gonzales + vaness del moral + jennica garcia +
my day's starting to end bad...first of all, i didn't have any strawberry ice cream. my brother went to the store and all but--NO STRAWBERRY ICE CREAM!!! the stupid grocery doesn't have any T_T i want i want i want! (warning: sign of pms!)...and spent hours trying to figure out why i can't put on a new skin for this blog. it always turns out to have errors, w/c my iq could not comprehend -_- i ended up having this headache and a not good mood...
♥♥♥♥♥
